frozenteeth

Things To Do With Nephew

My sister had a baby last night! Now I have to decide what my best moves are to cement my status as the “cool” uncle:

Age 3 

Take to Pixar movies/any 3D kids movies I secretly want to see

Age 5 

Begin lifelong tradition of attending Giants games, buying excessive amounts of junk food and generally spoiling him rotten within the confines of AT&T Park

Age 9 

Fishing? Camping? Something involving nature and giving my sister and bro-in-law a few nights off. Note to self: become competent at “nature things”.

Age 11 

Reluctantly agree to take him to concert equivalent of my mom taking me to see Live 105’s BFD (Cypress Hill, Moby, Limp Bizkit) when I was 11

Age 13 

Catch him smoking pot and deliver lengthy lecture that ends with me smoking the pot I confiscated from him to teach him a lesson. 

Age 15 

Teach to drive. Fail. Buy him driving lessons. 

…I’m hella excited.